God Be With You

While heating up my second piece of corn I started having morbid thoughts. Oh maybe it is because of the non-profit in Canada that was refused non-profit status. They were called Farwell and wanted to be an assisted suicide place. Anyway, I was thinking about the juxtaposition of being in the hospital for my two grandparent’s deaths and hearing chimes ring that a new baby was just born. Then I started thinking about how I want, God Be With You Til’ We Meet Again, played as the last item of my funeral. It is our traditional farewell song at graduation at Augustana College. My college experience met so much to me and my friends from there mean so much that the song also rings true and with significance. My only living grandparent is now refusing to eat much. That is how it all began with two of my other grandparents. The beginning of the end, I don’t know the sound of this. I lost two this year, not another, please.

Right to Search and Seizure

Our trip to Nebraska this weekend was good, fast and well weird, like our trips usually are. Something always happens while we are making our 6-10 hour trip, time based on final destination.

3^rd World Memories

About 30 miles into Iowa everyone was suddenly slamming on their breaks. There were State Patrol officers standing around with signs saying be prepared to stop and to be pulled over. This all occurred near a weight station which was full of State P. Trucks and cars were lined up all over the place. We got through it without being stopped, but not without being eye molested as we drove by. Phillip googled it to see what was going on. They called it a “Safety Check.” The cops were randomly pulling over vehicles in groups of 10 and making sure their vehicles passed a safety expectation. Drivers licenses, registration documentation and insurance cards were also being checked.

I read the article about the event this morning and it sounds like it is an annual occurrence. I also read the comments people made about the issue. There were various opinions from people believing it was necessary to those who felt like they were witnessing Nazi Germany.

All I have to say is, first it scared the crap out of me. Suddenly out of no where there are state troopers with signs warning that you might be stopped, and people were scattered everywhere, for what? Second I understand the reason, but I also do not agree with it. If a vehicle looks like it would be in dangerous disrepair you have probable cause to pull them over, that is it.

United States citizens are slowly giving up their rights, without question. The response is always “if it makes my family and me safer.” The fact is I was not driving drunk, carrying drugs or in a vehicle that had the bumper tied up with rope. I am obeying the laws; I do not need to be subjected to a random search. Are we going to start allowing the police to randomly enter our homes to make sure that it’s up to code? I think not. If safety is the concern they should make more of an effort to do that daily instead of on one concentrated day, for anybody.

The whole thing reminded me of the constant threat of police pulling you over in third world countries at will, with machine guns. Often they aren’t police at all and they can rob you blind, kidnap you for ransom or just plain kill you. I’ve been in that situation before; I should not have to worry about that in the U.S. where I am free. I am free, right?

Stormy Weather

Then we hit, well drove between, some big storms. We saw a few large funnel clouds outside of Council Bluffs and we swear one of them had to have touched down. There were storms all around us and we were at the back ends of all of them. Just outside of Omaha we sat on I-80 stuck in a late night traffic jam and watched as nonstop lighting chased across the sky. We hoped we could get to Lincoln before the huge storm in Columbus blew through. Later, that storm ended up swiping Lincoln without hitting with full force. More lighting, some rain and marble sized hail came and went rather quickly.  

Rest Stop Mania

The trip back on Sunday was rather uneventful until we needed to stop for gas just over the Minnesota border. The place was packed. We’ve never seen so many cars lined up for expensive gas. Same went for Cabela’s were we stopped and purchased an old fashioned ice cream maker. It was also packed with cars and people everywhere. Needless to say it was nice to finally get home and well, not really relax, but we were at least home.

Step-Parenting

This weekend is the start to my first “official” two weeks as a step-mom. In all non-legally binding regards I have 2.5 years of step-moming already under my belt. Nothing is going to change. We were a family before we said “I do” and we are still a family now. The most significant advancement is now baby momma has to face the reality that really, there truly is no hope of getting my husband back, and that I now will be for sure part of the process of raising my husband’s child and our children.

It is a position in life that if you are not a step-parent it is hard to understand the process one goes through in adjusting and learning this new role. If you are one, then you know what I mean. Every family with step anything is different. No two scenarios are the same, but we all face similar challenges regarding legalities, family dynamics and that fun one, emotions. I am not bashing the difficulties of raising children birth parents face; I hope to become one myself. However, I am highlighting the fact that entering into a family or building a family involving children that are not your own is not an easy task and should not be brushed off.

One thing you should never do is disregard a step-parent’s role and position as a parent. That is a sure fire way to end up getting a ‘dislike button’ pushed on your forehead. We are raising children. When that child throws a tantrum we have to deal with it, when that child needs clean clothes or a bath, we are cleaning them. We are not babysitters, we do not get paid and we do not get to say I don’t want to watch them anymore. We are moms and dads, I am a mom.

I just read a magazine article that discusses the top ten reasons why becoming a step-mom is harder that becoming a birth mom. I’m sure some birth mothers would like to disagree. The article doesn’t dis-birth mothers, but it clearly outlines some very true realities to why being a step-mom is difficult. People don’t recognize you as a real parent, you don’t get nine months to mentally prepare for having a child, you don’t bond through hormones and you don’t have a huge circle of people who have been there before. A step parent goes from being childless to having children in an instant. I had my own house and a cat, which (some of it gradually) quickly changed to having a boyfriend (now husband), child, two dogs and two cats in our house.

There are countless situations, scenarios, dynamics and emotions I could discuss, but that will all come in time. Right now I am thinking in the terms of mom. For the next two weeks every decision made in our house will be based on being parents, not just being a couple. 

Virtual World

I am well aware that social media/technology is the wave of the future for business. It is also an increasingly popular way to network to personally find better employment opportunities. It is a great way to keep in touch with friends and family who are now more spread out than ever. It even helped my husband and I develop a strong long distance relationship that turned into a marriage.

However, some days I just can’t fathom why I am spending time on it. I feel like I am wasting my energy. Like this blog for instance…I haven’t updated it in months. And I’m writing a post that will probably never be read. Why? I have a Twitter account to keep in touch with friends, help me network and hopefully move on in my career, but I only really think about it when I’m at work and at that time I can’t do anything on it anyway.

If I didn’t work in an office I’m not so sure I’d stay connected on social media very much. I do it because I’m bored, but when I am in my element and my happiest I’m not thinking about it. I probably won’t think about it once we have kids, or maybe I will to keep family and friends updated on life at a distance.

The many avenues to publish who you are online are so wide spread and varied that it becomes a mess in my mind. For work I tirelessly post on Twitter hoping that someone will notice a post in the few minutes I turn up in the feed before I’m washed away by the numerous tweets of others. Is it worth it? The experts say it is, colleagues are all over it, and I get my spurts of insatiable enthusiasm. Then I have days like today where I think, why am I doing this?

I come to work and live in a virtual world and get annoyed when people snap me out of it. I sit in front of a computer and I’m not so sure that is experiencing life. I only have some 90 years on this planet (hopefully). I don’t want to spend more than half of it at a desk, in front of a computer, slowly getting fat and pale because I never leave and never see the sunlight. Especially the years where I can move around and do things, life is too short for office work, for making virtual connections.

Yet, I do it anyway and sometimes not as well as I’d like to. I have great visions of having an amazing blog or inspiring tweets or whatever, but does it really matter? Am I the only one I’m entertaining and inspiring? Probably. So I spend my day thinking what am I do here in general? There has to be more than this. 

A Workin' Weekend

So I am debating setting up a family blog using our wedding website once the wedding is over. We have so many family and friends all over the country that it would be a good way to keep in touch. I think a lot of changes will be coming within the next year and it’s the best way to keep everyone informed. I debate it. Do I want to write a blog, do I not? Do I want people to know what I’m up to, or not? That is why my blog goes in spurts. I can never decide what I want to do.

I can say this weekend we didn’t accomplish anything wedding related, but we did give the house a good cleaning. We made homemade chicken noodle soup and hosted a dinner party, donated a ton of items to Savers, shampooed the carpet, cleaned the fish tank and re-arranged Braden’s room. I couldn’t help but wonder, as we moved Braden’s room around, how we would organize it so a crib also fit in there. What a thought!

This morning I took Duke and Kato on a walk. I want to go for a walk every morning before work, but we have a Winter Storm Watch in the works. We’ll see if I we’ll be walking tomorrow. It is nice to bond with my puppy and to get him worn out so he’ll sleep all day while we’re gone. Such a little bundle of energy he is! He really loves to play with our kitten Dilli, which is good. Let them wear each other out.

Tonight’s goal: Finalize the 300+ mailing list.